Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My hair

I've always kinda been known for my hair. I get a lot of compliments, it's thick so people comment on it, and I couldn't have loved it more for my wedding. Today I lost so much hair. I washed this morning and it came out in handfuls. I had to set the handful on the edge of the bathtub each time I ran my hands through it to wash. I left the towel on until the very last minute. I applied makeup first and dressed first so that I could at least feel somewhat pretty. But then I had to blow dry it. The towel was full of hair and when I dried it, each time I brushed it, I had to clean out the brush. I'm not kidding. Then I went to work and started bawling. Geez. Luckily everyone is very understanding. My sister cut it very short for me and it's only a matter of days until I am completely bald. Either it will all fall out or I will have to shave it. I just can't shave it. Emotionally I can't. I'm not ready. I was so hoping for only a normal head of hair and that mine would just thin. But I'm not going to be so lucky. With each handful of hair I throw away, I am telling myself that it's cancer that I am throwing away. Maybe that will help. I guess I'll go downstairs and get those wigs Tracy gave me. I was hoping to be able to hide them in the closet and never use them. And Tracy, don't think I won't wear that hat! I will. I am shedding worse than my cats. They have my hair on them! Weird. I just can't seem to stop complaining about it. This is the hardest side effect yet.

At least I slept last night.

I am thankful for understanding co-workers who don't mind a few tears (ok, more than a few). I am also thankful that my sister is a cosmetologist and is there to go through this with me.


Belinda said...

That sucks and I am really sorry that you are losing your hair so much! I've heard that it grows back a slightly different color sometimes, so don't panic once it starts coming back. It will be back soon! And you never know, maybe you'll be one of those super sexy bald chicks! And now you can really, really play with different styles and colors! Wigs are pretty awesome.

Belinda said...

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