Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Over the hump

I've completed round 4 of chemo and I'm over the hump. I had to get another one of those shots to create white cells but it's worth it b/c I've been keeping those little buggers high! I'm pretty tired right now, so I hope all this makes sense. I didn't/couldn't really sleep last night so I'm going on little sleep, hyped up on steroids and now have all that chemo medicine in me. And my cat Dexter won't stay off my lap or out of my face. I guess he knows that I don't feel great. But I worked all day. That is always a good feeling. My supervisor brought Daryl and I spaghetti, salad and bread sticks for dinner tonight and it was so good! Then last Sunday Daryl's sister Diana helped us paint and make a casserole. Mom made cinnamon rolls. We are being taken care of that is for sure! We are truly blessed to have so many people care about us. My mom kinda knows that Thursdays after chemo required a strawberry shake. I plan to not get dehydrated this treatment. I am also going to try out a support group next week. I've been kinda...what's the word...intimated to go to one but I made a friend at the Look Good Feel Better class I went to so we are going to go together.

I did get a wig last Friday. I have to get it cut to fit. Some people might not understand why I haven't worn one yet. The thing is, is when I had my hair, which I got a ton of compliments on, I felt pretty. And now, when people look at me, I don't feel pretty. They are looking at me b/c I have cancer and it's obvious. And even with a wig on, to me, they are still looking at me b/c I have cancer. And it's not about what other people think of me, it's what I am perceiving about myself. It's something inside of me that I have to deal with. This is a little bit of struggle I am going through right now. But to keep things in perspective, my cancer is going away so that is more than an even trade off. My hair will come back. Right now I have peach fuzz. I say that I look like my grandpa Fred. :)

I am so thankful, once again, for all the caring people in our lives. Daryl and I both have a great support system at work, through friends, and of course we are both blessed with terrific families!

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