Sunday, December 14, 2008

Round two with no hair

Yesterday my mom and sister and I had a day planned to bake cookies. That isn't completely what happened though. I started crying when it was a lot of work trying not to have loose hair on me. I became frustrated and started bawling. Then, mom and Laura had a mini intervention. I didn't realize how much my hair falling out was having an impact on my emotional state. So, we agreed to shave it. I bawled for a long time. It took about 3 more hours to actually shave it. I bawled before and during the shaving. So did Laura. We had to stop once. I just felt so ugly. After she shaved it, I put my turban on and didn't look for about 4-5 hours. Before I looked, I put on fresh make-up and when I pulled the turban off, I was pleasantly surprised. I like it much better than the very thin hair. But it is very, very cold! We had a good time decorating cookies after I shaved it. And, I didn't depression eat, I only had 2 cookies all day. And one was broke the arm off a (sugar cookie) gingerbread man so we had to put him out of his misery.

Tomorrow I go in for round two of chemo. Today I started to take my steroids. Boy, did my lower back and legs hurt. I probably won't fall asleep to early tonight. I've already spent an hour organizing/decorating the office. I have a bag packed with a warm blanket my aunt made me--it has a cats on it and it is long enough to go under my feet and all the way up to my chin. I have a book about eating well/staying well. And a book called Obsession that one of my co-workers lent to me.

Today was a good day. I hope tomorrow goes well too. I hope my blood count is up so that I am strong enough to get chemo. I also made an appointment to get fitted for wigs. One of the wigs Tracy gave me looks good too. I also have some scarves. Truly, I wish I could wear my Packers stocking cap all the time, but my head gets hot. I also hope some wanna be gang member doesn't see me as a threat at the mall or something. (I truly doubt I look like a gangsta!)

I am thankful for the scarves I received today. They are from a friends mom who passed away in May from Uterin cancer. She left them behind to be donated and I am lucky enough to have received them. I am also thankful for a nice head and small ears!

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