Monday, December 1, 2008

Not a good day

Today hasn't been a good day. I got my first blood draw. My blood cell counts are really low and my baby white cells (which grow up to be big healthy ones) are extremely low. The good news is that the platelets and hemoglobin are low but ok. I am fighting off some type of illness and my body is working so hard. I have swollen glads where I didn't even know I had glands. The acne is so ugly and I have such a bad nervous habit of picking at myself, which makes it worse. I got my first bloody nose in my life. I started to cry when I realized my body is getting beat up on the inside and when I set my kleenex down, I saw blood on it. It wasn't like blood was pouring out of my nose but there was a lot of blood. Because my platelets are low, my blood isn't clotting as well. I have a swollen eye lid because I have an infected hair on my eyebrow--my body can't fight that either! I had to go on antibiotics. This is so difficult for me because I have worked so hard to take care of myself with exercise and nutrition (with the exception of the occasional Big Mac). My throat hurts, every time I drink something carbonated, tears fill up my eyes. I hate cancer. Cancer sucks.

There is some good news ofcourse. My incisions have healed well and I have the go ahead to sit in the hot tub. And, I can eat ice cream for 3 meals a day and not feel guilty about it.

Thanks to my sister for sending my a pic of Brooklynn just when I needed it for a smile.

P.S. Check out Daryl's blog:


Belinda said...

Hopefully while that chemo is destroying all your happy, healthy cells it's kicking the cancer cell's asses! Sorry that you're starting to feel so miserable! Want some battery-operated socks from Santa?

Martin Kahland Jr. AKA Piglet said...

Thinking about you Tracy.

Gery said...

Tracy...whenever you and Daryl are ready for that Pitch game with Bonnie and I, we're ready. Pimples and all are welcome! :-)

Bon and I are thinking about you every day. Stay strong!!